Tower Time
Life feels transitional right now. I suppose it is all the time, but when you are going through changes external and internal it becomes something else.
The inner work I am doing now is work I wish I could take back to myself 20 years ago. It is me fathering myself in the way I was never parented, but its much more than that.
The last 7 or so years have been tower years. I've had the building torn down, with the foundation laid bare and each time I've been challenged to build something different. It'll make for a good book at some point.
Each time what's been torn down has also revealed where the work needs to be done. And so the next time, the building is a bit different, and some parts aren't brought down.
Tower time happens because the foundation is faulty. So until you get the foundation right, tower time here we come.
I am leaning into the transition, into the tower time. There is no point in resisting. Let it all crash down and continue crashing down...I'll crawl out of the rubble, get back up and keep building.
The tower is falling, the bridge is falling, we all fall, and
we all rise.
like the phoenix
again and again and again.
You've lost nothing when the tower falls except the illusions that were binding you to it. That tower looked so pretty, glittered with an alluring tantalizing light. Here was this attachment, this vision, this ideal.
And it was an attachment with all the problems attachments bring. Passion traps of one up and one down and one all around.
I am falling and rising, cycling and cycling, the balance of the scales. What is right what is wrong.
What is.
This moment, this present, this being.
Here, I am, here.
Breathing moist air, slick with the tint of saliva.
I am here, alive, I am here.
This moment, this tower, this falling, falling tower.
What does it reveal? It reveals the path…step away from that rubble, walk somewhere else, a golden and shadow path, the choose yourself path.
Choose
Let go of the tower, the attachment, the passion…it was all a delusion anyway.
Let go of what you thought you knew, of what you held dear.
Let go and become grounded in your movements as you walk, walk, walk away away away.
Let go of tower time…let go of the dreams and nightmares and step into sleepless night stars bright…Your tower time, falling apart, fall a part…
Here I come, pieces and pieces strung together like pearls on a line.
Here I come down from the tower I fall and sprout wings…time to fly somewhere else.
Time to fly…
goodbye.