How I'm transforming my inner smush
I’ve been continuing to read the book Woman Unbound. That book along with several other books and some classes is proving to be essential for a process of transformation I’m going through as I work on my core sense of self. One of the terms used in Woman Unbound is “smush” and it describes the feeling of not being able to express oneself and feeling conflict within as a result. I liken it to Jell-O, and it also makes me think of the stereotypical nice guy, a man who has trouble expressing or knowing his boundaries.
I’m that guy and I’m tired of being that guy, because that guy lives in fear of expressing his inner truth. He’s trying to people please so much in a vain effort to be safe, but there is no safety in caving to what other people want of you. They aren’t even satisfied when they get what they want! They despise you for being weak and giving into them, for being pliable and easy going when you should’ve had a spine and taken your balls back.
Over the last few years, inch by incremental inch I’ve been working on changing this aspect of myself. Sometimes it has felt like I have taken a step forward and two steps back and other times I have felt a sense of certainty and awareness.
Keep reading with a 7-day free trial
Subscribe to Magical Experiments to keep reading this post and get 7 days of free access to the full post archives.