When you can't do magic
The power of partnership and community in our work
Recently, I lost my cat Onyx and it was an unexpected loss.
He wasn’t even two years old and he had a spinal lymphoma and part of his spine was already missing. I knew something was wrong, but I initially thought that it was a behavior issue because I was traveling more often. It turned out to be something else altogether.
When I took him into the vet this last time, the vet noticed that Onyx’s tail was dragging on the ground. He suggested an x-ray. We got the results back and that’s when we discovered the spinal lymphoma.
I knew what I had to do.
I could keep Onyx alive a little while longer, knowing he was in pain on a daily basis and try to manage that pain, and the loss of function that accompanied that pain.
I could already see how miserable he was. He was hiding under the couch, barely interacting with his brother and he wasn’t able to fully control his bladder.
I knew I needed to let him go, to let him pass on and it was such a hard decision to make. I had already lost four of my cats in the wake of a divorce a few years ago and losing another cat so soon hit my heart harder than I expected.
I told the vet to put him to sleep and I stayed with him through the process. Afterwards I took his body back with me, so I could bury him.
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Is your life falling apart? You’re not alone.
Right now, everyone is going through some version of a Tower moment. Relationships ending. Careers shifting. Unexpected losses. It feels like the whole world is crumbling beneath us—but that’s not the end of the story. The Tower clears away what no longer serves so we can rebuild something stronger.
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P.S. This offering is personal. I’m moving through my own Tower time after the sudden loss of my beloved cat, Onyx. This reading is part of my healing—and it helps cover the unexpected vet expenses from this difficult time.
I wanted to do magic to honor him, but I didn’t have it in me to do a ritual. I was hurting so much. I reached out to my beloved and asked her for help. We’re in a long distance relationship, so she couldn’t be with me physically, but she got on the phone with me and started a grief ritual.
I could barely hear her as I shoveled the dirt to make a space for Onyx, but I felt her presence and her strength. I couldn’t do the magic to help his spirit pass on, but she could, and I knew this was a small example of the power of community at work.
I buried Onyx in the dirt, and then I walked inside. She was still doing the ritual. I found Obsidian and sat with him, petting him and connecting with him. I cried for a bit, listening to her do the ritual and I felt a release of that grief.
I wasn’t alone.
Onyx was gone, passing on, his spirit returning to Bastet. I let him go, I released him and I did it with the help of my beloved, who took on the role of priestess and allowed me to grieve and be fully present with my grief.
Explore: When do you need to reach out for help?
There are moments when you won’t be able to do magic for a situation or take other actions that might be needed. Maybe you’re feeling overwhelmed by life circumstances or grieving a loss, or something else altogether. Whatever it is, it’s important to recognize you are not alone.
Who do you have in your life that you can reach out to?
Who can you ask for help?
Something I’ve learned over the years is that you can’t go it alone. I ask for help regularly and I also offer help regularly, because sometimes we all need a hand.
The power of community
I’ve done a lot of magical work on my own, but what I’ve discovered again and again is that with the right pairings or community, the power of the magical working is even more potent.
And sometimes you aren’t in a space to do magic, but you need some magic worked for you.
I have people in my life that I trust to do magic for me. I don’t ask often, but there are occasions like what I shared above when I know I need some help. I ask for it.
I used to not ask for help. I thought I had to figure it out on my own. But the men’s work I do with myself and other men has taught me that the walls I keep up, the front I put on hurts me far more than it helps.
More than ever we need community. We need to reach out to each other and know that we aren’t alone and that we can help each other.
That help can come in many forms. It can be a magical working, or it can be taking a friend to a doctor’s appointment or so many other things, but the point is we have to be willing to reach out to each other and ask for help.
You don’t have to do your magic alone or live alone. Sometimes the most potent magic you can weave is to simply ask for what you need.
Other ways we can work magic together
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Expecting spirits to appear in physical form
Expecting spirits to speak in your native language
Expecting spirits to do all the work for you
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Spirits communicate in subtle ways—through energy, symbols, and shifts in awareness.
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Spirit work is a collaboration, not a one-sided request for results.
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